Odysseus in America by Jonathan Shay

Author:Jonathan Shay
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Scribner
Published: 2002-09-27T04:00:00+00:00

18 Lew Puller Ain’t on the Wall

Lydia Fish is not a veteran. She is a professor of anthropology at Buffalo State College, and a scholar of the American folklore of war, particularly of the songs of the Vietnam War. When she created VWAR, “an Internet discussion list set up to facilitate communication among veterans, teachers, scholars and students of the Vietnam War,”1 she did not think she was creating a community. Even less did she think she was saving anyone’s life—yet over the few years that I was active in this Internet discussion, several veterans expressed their belief that they would have died by their own hand were it not for the social support that this cyber-community provided. Veterans in VIP have said the same about our program.

I joined VWAR as one of the “scholars and students,” not as a clinician. While I freely expressed my beliefs (particularly in the value of such communities) I stayed clear of anything resembling therapy or medical advice. I hoped to learn and to gain critical feedback on my ideas and writings. Like any ordinary member, I exchanged information and opinions, got into arguments, made friends, learned a lot, and was addicted to my e-mail. About five years ago, when my “missionary work” on prevention of psychological and moral injury in military service was taking off, I could no longer put in the time. I decided that dropping out of the discussion would be better than being inattentive and superficial.

What follows is an edited and abbreviated transcript of the first couple days’ responses by members of this community to news that Lewis Puller had killed himself, and—most important—of their responses to one another. All messages are used by permission of their authors, none of whom have ever been my patients.2 Most, not all, members of this discussion use nicknames. The discussion’s roughly two hundred members came from all over the country, from Florida to Puget Sound, from Massachusetts to California, from the inner city to almost “off the grid” in the mountains of New Mexico or upper New York State.

Date: Wed, 11 May 1994 17:45:14 EDT

From: Corkster

Subject: Lewis Puller

X-To: Multiple recipients of list VWAR-L

A sad sad day—Lew Puller committed suicide today—of course I can’t find Lola’s number—tried to call Cap’n Jack since I hope Lola didn’t have to hear it on the news … and the toll rises yet again.

Corkster

Corky Condon described herself this way: “Developer/Director of In Touch program—Incorporator of Sons & Daughters In Touch, a nonprofit organization for family members of VN KIA/MIA. Wall and Moving Wall volunteer, daughter of Robert E. Condon KIA 1/18/68, wife of a combat wounded (disabled physical and PTSD) veteran (LRRP, 25th DIV—RVN 1967-1968).”3

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